This is muah...

I am young,I am married to a Marine(J), and have a wild and crazy cute little boy. I love horses and life...I mean REALLY love them. And someday, maybe someday I would like to become a nurse and share that love with the goes nothing I guess.

Monday, May 31, 2010

The only reason for time...

is so that everything doesn't happen at once. -Albert Einstein
Well, it certainly seems that right now, everything is happening at once. On a good note I got into the nursing school I was hoping for(Craven Community College), YAY!!! I have orientation on June 2nd, registration on June 29th, and classes start on August 18. Right now I am attempting to relax as much as I can this summer, and by relax I mean taking a break from schoolwork and a job so that I can devote more time to houusework and errands, and stress over how broke we are since I am not working:0 When I am not doing all of those things, I am playing with and caring for P and enjoying every minute of it, well almost every minute. Those minutes of unquestionable toddlerhood seem to be more challenging than an A&P lab practical on the muscles. Toddlerhood seems to me to be the most bittersweet time thus far. On one hand he is so evil sometimes I believe he can't possibly be of the human species, and at other times he melts my heart beyond belief with his curiosity, growing vocabulary, and wild imagination. At the end of the day when all of the chores are done, and P is sleeping, that's when I worry about nursing school and how it will take its toll on my family. I worry that I will not have as much time and attention to devote to them, and that the little things I try to do for them everyday(make J's lunch and read P a book before bed etc.) will fall through the cracks. I worry that they won'teat good meals on nights when I am home late or simply have too much studying to do to cook. I know that they are perfectly capable of making it, but I am so used to being able to devote all of my time to caring for and loving them, that I think it will hurt me more than it actually hurts them. I am hoping it willgive time for P and j to get some good quality time together. What I REALLY worry about is March. In March will be deploying for the third time, but this time he will be going to Afghanistan as a sniper. As a big believer in reading the local newspaper, I have felt my heart ache over and over again this past year for those families whose loved ones have come home in an old-glory clad metal box and not happily filing out of a bus in anticipation of that first kiss in 7 months. For the sake of being uncouth...I am scared shitless. I also doubt my ability to balance taking care of P, being a nursing student, taking care of myself, and taking care of the household duties while trying to supress the stress of him not only being gone, but him being in danger. I keep reminding myself to take a deep breath and turn to God. I keep reminding myself that I have people supporting me, people who believe I can do this, and people who need me to do this, that I need me to do this.After all of the worrying is over, I try to smooch my husband every chance I get, read for pleasure, be a tv junkie, and enjoy the cool nc summer nights with friends who will shortly be going their own ways and doing their own things. I am so very thankful to say that in about a month I will be getting to go home for about 10 days. I will eat, sleep, and be merry with all of those who I love the most. Even as I type, I can feel the tears of joy welling up in my eyes...I just can't wait. On an end note, the hubby just put in a movie and the more I type the more he sighs and looks at me out of the corner of his eye because I am interrupting his movie(reminds me of someone else I know ).I will leave you with this quote from a wonderful book I just read(The Middle Place By Kelly Corrigan)..."Even when all the paperwork-a marriage license, a notarized deed, two birth certificates, and seven years of tax returns-clearly indicates you're an adult,all the same, there you are, clutching the phone and thanking God that you're still somebody's daughter."

No comments:

Post a Comment